Hello, hello. Long time no talk. Or perhaps it just feels that way as we slog through unending week after unending week, searching for an end to the monotony that has never and will never exist. Anyway, I’m legitimately glad you’re here. I’ve been playing dress up again, alone, in my childhood bedroom, and it’s just become too bleak. (I know I said* I would try and take actual photos next time instead of disgustingly low-quality mirror selfies, but you know what they say about old habits.)
Onward and upward. I’ve never shied away from a statement jacket, and it being winter means it’s high time to look cool in fur. And yes, it’s fake━hold your buckets of pig blood, thanks. Here are five ways I wear my big ol’ Sears coat.
The Lady Goodman
Saw this one coming from a thousand miles away, eh? All hail the ladies of the Sunset Strip. It’s a deceptively simple outfit, consisting of a silk slip dress, platforms, and, of course, the trusty coat. All you need when you’re cruisin’ for dudes in tight jeans.
The Ol’ Faithfull
This is the clear inspiration for our second look. I shouldn’t have even linked it━I’ll never come close to the ease and elegance of Cool Girl Patient Zero. Whatever, I’ll be the accessible version, the Marianne Lite, for all of us who don’t hold the power to upend the entire music industry and come out on top.
The Sandy Cheeks
It’s stupid, but I love it. I’m such a sucker for primary color schemes and clashing patterns, and this bad boy checks both of those boxes. Despite the presence of the fur coat, the outfit feels casual and fun. Probably because every element screams “divorcée at the beach.”
The Flame Pants Return
These pants are hands-down the best piece of clothing I own. They are my holy grail. They have been worn with this coat more times than I can count, and the two will be buried together. Ideally on me. The flames match the fur and the boots match the shirt. Can I make it any more obvious?
The Easy Way Out
So maybe I got a bit lazy and threw the coat on over a shirt and jeans. (This shirt, by the way.) It’s not something I’d automatically think of wearing under this coat, though, so perhaps I did use some brain power when constructing this one. It’s much more casual than most of the other outfits we’ve looked at thus far, and the red shoes and light jeans add some brightness to an otherwise dark-themed collection.
Have fur coat, will pretend to be jilted rock star, and all that. I will leave you with the tenuous promise of something pseudo-intellectual for next time.
*Turns out I never said this. Feels good to be off the hook.